June 9, 2010

As I sit here, I have a lot of time to think, worry, and wonder what is next. I still have a lot of fears and uncertainties. I am sure that is not uncommon. I have been really struggling with the thought of loosing my hair and how I will look to my sweetheart, will he still think that I am beautiful, maybe we will be like twins since he shaves his head too. My mind just goes in circles. I enjoyed having Cali Bywater come and have a sleep over, as we call it here in the hospital. We even managed to keep it under control and they didn't have to call security on us. I want her to know that I love and appreciate her friendship more than she will ever know! Last night I could hardly wait to see my little niece, Malaree, and of course my sisters too. When the door opened and she came in all I could do was cry like a baby, she asked her mom why I was crying and I told her I was just missing her pretty smile. She kept me good and entertained. She took me for a walk and was trying to get me to jump the brown lines on the floor, don't try that with a full bladder...oops. I received some very nice packages from the relief society and my dear cousin, Delene Bailey and her family. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I also received a visit from my friend and neighbor, Loriann Stokes who has been through the ugly of cancer and knows what I am going through. I love the visits and it keeps my spirits up. I love my family and all they are doing for me, in-laws and all. I keep thinking about what I am going to do different when I get to go home..Maybe let the dishes pile up in the sink for a day, not vacuum the floor or even pick up after anyone, just be the best mom I can and take the time to throw the football with my sons and go on those dates with my husband and smell the flowers and fresh air more often. Boy how your priorities can change in the blink of an eye! Love to all of you.