Family

Our family after the special event.

My Boys...Bracken, Colten, Jed, and Weston Smith

Uncle Mike Lambert, Grandpa Owen, Colten, Father-in-law Chris Bywater, and Uncle James May.

I am so proud of my son Colten. He became an Elder in the Melchizedek Priesthood. I was so excited to be here for this event and hope that he will always honor this special priesthood that has been put upon him. He had his grandpa Owen ordain him. When you have been diagnosed with cancer, you cherish every day and event that happens in your family. I am so proud of him and the choices that he has made.

He now is married to his sweetheart and I couldn't be happier. I finally have a daughter and I look forward to getting to know her better.

Monday I went to the Logan Infusion Center and had my dose of Methatrexate. My counts were down by half, but I am optimistic that I will win this battle. I just love the nurses that take care of me. They make you feel special through all the ugly of cancer. I also attended my first support group for cancer patients. What a great time I had. It is so good to hear from other cancer patients that know what I am going through and I know what they are going through. We had many laughs. I hope to continue with the support group and hope in some way help someone else through all the ugly of cancer.

This year Weston has had the opportunity to play basketball on a traveling team. He has had some great coaches and teammates to help him improve and love the game. They have won 3 championships and I am so proud of him. Thanks to Greg Madsen and Craig Reese for helping him and teaching him to love the game. Also Weston participated in the 6th grade Worlds Fair. His county was Egypt and he did a great job on his report. Keep up the good work Weston!! Love you!

Feelings

I have not updated for awhile and have some feelings that I need to express! I have always been one to do the right thing or at least try hard to do the right thing. One thing I have been taught is to not judge someone until you have ALL the facts! In the last few months, I have been judged and put down so much that you start to believe that maybe I am worthless or don't deserve to have happiness for myself. If you don't have happiness yourself how are you suppose to give happiness to others. Well I have struggled with this A LOT!! I have decided that people can say all they want to and put others down, but I have had enough! I make myself happy by the choices I make each and everyday to be the best wife, mother, sister, and to some, friend. We all have struggles in our life, but only one person will be accountable for judging us for the person or people that we are. I will continue to be the kind of person that I know in my heart is right and put a smile on my face with my head held high for I know I am a daughter of God and he is mindful of the challenges that I face each and everyday. He will help me and will never leave my side.
I also believe that you should not judge someone without knowing all the facts. Don't rely on what other people say or think about someone. Get to know them for yourself and then go from there, It just might surprise you that maybe YOU were the one that was wrong!
Don't put people down either, you have no idea what they are going through, but don't lie to the persons face either and say one thing then turn around and say another to someone else. It comes around to bite you in the ass!
That is how people get hurt and I don't like it.

January 17, 2012

Yesterday I went to the Logan Infusion Center to receive my mountain dew milkshake, aka methotrexate. My son, Bracken, took me and we had a great mother son visit. I love talking with my boys and making sure they are doing o.k.
My counts were good enough to get the chemo and off we went. I didn't feel great after the treatment, so we stopped at Papa Murphy's for pizza.
I tried to eat, but went to bed instead. Hope to be feeling better by Wed. or Thur.
I am also dealing with change, and believe me change is hard. I want to keep my kids little some days and not let go, but know that in reality that is not going to happen, or is what should happen. It is hard to stop mom mode, and let them go. I hope that they know that I will always be their mom and will always be here for all three of them wonderful, terrific, caring boys of mine and in no way will I ever get in the way of seeing them smile. (Some with dimples).
Why is it sooo hard to let go when you know that you have done everything in your power to teach them to stay on the right path. I know all I want is to see them succeed with whatever they want to do in life.
Colten, Bracken and Weston, remember that I love you so much and will never stop! These last few years have been tough, but hey look at us now! I will continue to fight every day for one more day here with you all!
I want you all to know also that I AM looking forward to getting the most wonderful daughter-in-law in the world. She is the sweetest girl and fits right into our family so great! Hey then I won't be so out numbered either.
All I want is to see my family happy!

My Family

I love my mom and sisters so much. (Love you too John). Thanks mom for the wonderful talk and great advise that you gave to me yesterday at the infusion center and also for letting me vent and just listening to me. I love you and will always hold a special place in my heart for you! (Remember the necklace)!

My dad and all his girls! Dad I love you!

The most important people in my life!!! Forever Strong! (Thanks Tawnie and Aunt JaDene)!

My sweetheart!

Eagle Scout

One Proud Mom!!! (I did this backward, but it has been along time since I posted so I will get better)

My dad, Earl Owen, received the flag and presented it to Bracken!

Congratulations to my son, Bracken, for achieving his Eagle Scout! I am very proud of him and the many merit badges that it took to get there. He has had some of the best leaders and I thank them for their encouragement.

New Year 2012

I have decided what is the most important thing in my life right now, and that is my FAMILY!! I have still been going through chemotherapy and the great fun of steroids. It has been one of the toughest things I have done in my life, but I am alive and still a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
I was so glad to see 2011 go out and a new 2012 come in. It has been a hard year for our family, but is looking up for this coming year. I have the best extended family anyone could ask for. Thanks for the drop in talks, crashing on the couch waiting for Weston to get out of school, and just keeping my chin up.
I want to thank my parents for everything they do for me. Parents are wise!
Thanks also to the nurses and Dr.s they are amazing people!
Last, Thanks so much to my Angel, Brandi Chase, she keep what is most important for me to remember.
I still have a greater love for the gospel and treasure my testimony more everyday! Thanks to everyone and have a great new year!!